Adoption has been life changing, says single dad

[2026/09/22] By BBC/ Alice Cunningham and Wayne Bavin,Suffolk

A man said adopting a child had been a "life-changing" experience as charities warned of a growing shortage of adoptive families.

Shamser, a single father from Ipswich, welcomed Kusum, nine, about two and a half years ago, which he said had been a joy.

Statistics from Adoption England and the charity Coram show children in Suffolk spend 748 days on average waiting to be adopted, compared to the national average of 646.

Sarah Johal, the national strategic lead for Adoption England, said the lack of families coming forward to adopt had contributed to the waiting periods, as a new campaign aimed to bridge the gap.

Years after the birth of his biological son, Shamser was single and ready for another child in his life.

He had always wanted to adopt and decided to undertake the process on his own.

"They prepare you for the challenges as much as they can and there's really extensive preparation, but it's completely life changing," he explained.

"Those first moments when you close the door and he's there in your house... even though the child is undergoing a massive change in his life and bewildered... there's an opportunity there to build trust through having a lot of fun."

Shamser said it had been great that not being married was not a barrier to adoption, something he believed was a misconception.

In 2024, he was matched with Kusum, now nine, who has grown in confidence.

"This boy is flying," he said.

"When he came, he had the fear, disruption and bewilderment of the new setting.

"But he just had this expansive love of life."

Johal said the lack of adoptive families had "declined considerably in the last five years".

"Some of it really is that people aren't always ready to be parents and we know there are less people having children these days, the birth rates are declining," she said.

"People are worried about the cost-of-living crisis, they're worried about having the right finances in place and life has just become more uncertain generally."

Johal explained that the You Can Adopt campaign was trying to raise the profile of adoption and help prospective families come forward.

The process of adopting involved background checks, preparation training and assessments with social workers before getting that approval, which could take six to nine months.

When talking about the adoption waiting periods, Johal added: "We try not to use the word waiting because [the children are] being very well looked after within foster households, so they don't feel necessarily the sense of the word waiting.

"The difficulty is that's not a permanent solution, so they know that they're here until a decision is made that an adoptive family is found.

"So for them, the sense of permanence is the issue, the sense of, 'Am I going to be staying here forever?'."

 News from：BBC