Man reunited with mum decades after adoption
Man reunited with mum decades after adoption
[2026/04/03] By The BBC
A man who was adopted from Vietnam and recently travelled thousands of miles back there to meet his birth mother said the journey helped him understand "the missing piece of the puzzle" in his life.
Ike Robin, 27, from Bath, was adopted when he was six months old, and raised in Brighton with his three adopted sisters from China.
Throughout his life, Ike said he had questions about his heritage and identity and wanted to know how different life would be if he had not been adopted.
He said he has suffered from 'imposter syndrome', adding he feels "lucky" but there are moments he feels "this was not the life I was meant to have".
Ike was born with two holes in his heart and severely malnourished. He said he owes his life to his adoptive family.
Now working as a nanny, Ike said he always knew he was adopted, but the questions around where he came from grew stronger as he got older.
"When I was younger, being adopted didn't mean too much to me," he said. "As I got older, I questioned more what my life would have looked like if I wasn't adopted."
At the end of 2025, he travelled across Vietnam with his girlfriend and adoptive parents before finally meeting his birth mother for the first time in nearly three decades.
"I didn't know what I was meant to feel, because this is my mum, but she's also a stranger," he said.
When she arrived, Ike said he recognised her immediately.
"I just instantly knew who my mum was," he said. "It was an instinctive feeling."
At his birth mother's request, her identity is not being revealed.
Ike expected to only meet his biological mother, but was instead greeted by his siblings, cousins and grandmother.
Psychotherapist Kimberly Fuller said his experience reflects the complex identity questions many internationally adopted people can face in adulthood.
She said adopted children can struggle with "identity and a sense of belonging", particularly as they reach adolescence and later life.
"For some children they can kind of blend in with their families and people don't necessarily know that they're adopted, and they can hide that part of their identity.
"However if it's a transracial adoption it's really hard to do that from the outset, you're already different and then there's an added obvious difference in that you look different to your family," she said.
That can mean people ask questions without considering how that feels or how that could be received, Fuller added.
She explained children can feel disconnected not only from their birth family but also from their culture, language and visible identity.
Fuller also said adoptees can experience conflicting emotions, including gratitude for the life they have been given while also grieving what has been lost.
For Ike's adoptive mother, the reunion was emotional but not threatening.
"I never thought that I was his only mother," Julia Fleming said. "She's his mum, and I'm his mum."
She said the family had always tried to keep their children connected to their heritage, and had supported contact with Ike's birth mother since he was seven.
Ike said the reunion was not about blame, but understanding.
"The main message I wanted to get across was that I don't have any bad feelings towards her," he said. "This can be the start of a new beautiful journey."
News from：BBC